Reflections on Yoga & Motherhood

Reflections on Yoga & Motherhood 

She turns 15 this month my sweet and sassy daughter. And it’s got me thinking how life today is so very different than life back then. Back then, before she was born, it was all about me, photography and yoga yoga yoga. I was in peak asana immersion. Hours of daily postures, teaching, traveling, workshops. You name it. I did it. And loved it. And then, quite out of the blue, this amazing little soul chose me to be her mother… I really had zero idea of what was coming. Naively imagined that most things would stay the same. My plan was to pop her out, strap her to my back and keep on moving. And for a while things did sort of stay the same. Pregnancy became an opportunity to learn more about asana. Which poses worked and which poses didn’t. And I kept practicing and photographing and teaching right up until the day that she was born. And of course, no surprise to you I’m sure, but from that day onwards everything absolutely and completely changed.

The first thing I discovered was that freshly born munchkins don’t go hand in hand with daily disciplines. They’ve got their own unique idea of structure. And most of it revolves around being in mama’s arms. Plus single parenting wasn’t meshing so well with the concept of ‘alone time’. And I was definitely struggling to get on the mat. Naptime meant exhaustion-induced corpse pose. And when she was awake, forget it. The choice was Trikonasana, or hanging with my little miracle? The answer was obvious. Nevertheless, despite the mind-altering medley of brain fog, sore nipples, and overwhelming maternal love, I still felt an incessant nagging guilt for not practicing as much as I ‘should’. Years of intense tutelage under an exacting Brahmin taskmaster had left their mark. To skip a day was basically a sin. I knew I needed to cut that thinking right out of my life. It wasn’t serving the voracious needs of this new unfurling feminine. But the cords were thick and strong. How was it going to happen?

Thank heavens for a handful of fabulous friends, one of whom had just moved to Galle, a small town in southern Sri Lanka. “It’s incredible Cat. You’ll love it. Please come and stay. I think it might do you good.” The timing was perfect. I was already seeing that western single parenting was going to involve a lot of driving, car seats, baby-sitters, play-dates, suburban isolation and money. And as I breast fed, slept and loved those first months away I kept thinking of my childhood in South East Asia. And my father, and his adrenalin infused adventures that drew us to the places where he felt most free: sailing and survival, sharks, shipwrecks and pirates. And living that quest with him had marked me forever. In fact was part of the reason that I was so drawn to Yoga: The intoxicating study of freedom. And now that I was a mother I realized that I wanted Talitha to smell and breathe and taste that same titillating life-expanding cell-electrifying energy- in some feasible way- before the systems took over. The schooling systems, the safety system, the parenting system… And combined with the crumbling edifice of my ‘sweat your prayers and just do your practice all is coming’ story… well I guess it made me vulnerable enough to take a risk.

“Yes! I’m buying our tickets this week!!” And off we went. Entering a new life, warmly embraced and loved into vibrancy. Beaches, jungles, temples, flying kites and skipping along fort walls. I was revived. A plump fruit of happiness. And utterly inspired by Annoushka’s tropical female splendor. Mother of two boys – she owned it. I began to wonder if I’d been training myself dry. Assiduously following instructions that lacked female relevance. Ascending within a system that was essentially human, hierarchal, male and power-based. It was taking both a child and a foreign country to get me back on the freedom track. Weeks turned into months. Months turned into years. We moved into an exotic house of magical decaying splendor: enormous rooms, teak floors, frangipanis and crackling white walls. Talitha in naked mango-splashed heaven. Every day a bare-foot adventure. Exploring all that each moment offered. There was good and bad and sad – Talitha got dengue. There was the tsunami. A war going on up north… But overshadowing all of that was the precious zing of wildness and the thump of our beating hearts. Of course I continued to practice and teach: At the Buddhist center, in Ulpotha, on the bulging red bricks of our terrace at home. But everything was different. Increasingly free from rigidity. My asana had more joy and less judgment. Had become part of a practice rather than the practice itself. It allowed for lightness. Giggles, snails and butterflies were all permitted intrusions. Cuddling became savasana and hugging in sirsasana is now an official pose. Guided by a voice that had nothing to do with form and everything to do with heart and soul.

Fast-forward 15 years and here we are today. Talitha turns 15 at the end of this month. We ended up spending 6 years in Sri Lanka followed by another 7 in Hawaii. And now we’re back in Europe. Where I’m from. We’re living in a city. Those harsh edges of linearity around us all the time. We’re experiencing seasons, grey skies, cold, sweaters and shoes! But we’ve got our mojo. Our juju. Our mimi power levels rocked up high. Brought all of our past into this amazing present. Truth may be emptiness but it sure feels full! I still adore the physical postures and practice them every day. Focusing on alignment. Evening out the body and neutralizing the mind. A chiropractic approach that keeps me sane and strong. That involves no guilt, religion or excessive linear thinking. But these days instead of it being my life, the asana practice fuels my life. Just part of the eco-system that makes me whole: Adjusting, working out the tweaks, breathing… and then back to where I’m being called: Homework, cleaning, hugging, teaching. Showing up with open heart for those everyday moments. And I’m thinking that maybe. Just maybe, the practice was actually preparing us for all of that: The practice of tireless service. The practice of awakened presence. The practice of surrender to Love.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;

What is essential is invisible to the eye”

Antione de Saint-Exupery. The Little Prince

How to do Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I)

How to do Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I)

The MOST Essential Alignments for Advanced Yogis

If you Google ‘how to do Virabhadrasana I (warrior pose I)’ you’ll find thousands of posts explaining how to set-up for this pose. Where to put the feet. The arms. What the name of the pose means. Which is why I’m going to skip all that and get to straight to the point. I’m going to share what I consider to be the most important alignments for Virabhadrsaana I in the world: a step-by step guide on how to profoundly adjust the sacral band in this asana. The best techniques and the most efficient verbal cues guaranteed to transform your experience of Virabhadrasana I forever.

Lets Get Started!

As you’ll see, I’ve divided the adjustments into 3 different parts (Legs, Torso, Arms) and I’ve highlighted the verbal cues for easier visual assimilation. Note: Verbal cues are crucial. They have to be laser-point sharp to successfully circumvent the mind and speak directly to the body. Saying them aloud is much more powerful.

Here is the best way to learn from this post:

First skim read the entire text.

Then enter the pose (right side first) and hold.

Now reread the verbal cues out loud, to your body, whilst you are in the pose.

Verbal Cues Once in the Pose

(right leg forward, left leg back)

1 – LEGS:

Find the front of the back thigh and roll it in. Turn the skin. Turn the muscle. The kneecap facing the floor more and more. Now turn the hips to really face the front. Then find the outer right hip and roll it back and down. Now push the front of the back thigh to the thighbone. Ironing the muscle to the bone. Straighten the back inner completely and charge the leg.”

Explanation: The legs set the hips and the hips need to be even for the spine and the rest of the body to work evenly. In Virabhadrasana I both hips need to face forward and have the same height level. This is particularly challenging because the back leg tends to pull its corresponding hip backwards. Fortunately, by rolling the back leg in, both front pelvic bones are given the space to turn fully forward. Then by rolling the front outer hip both back and down we can even out the height of the hips thus stabilizing the base of the trunk so that that the hip area is as ‘symmetrical’ as possible. This ensures that the sacral band adjustment will emerge from a stable and well-balanced foundation. Once the hips feel their new purpose, mentally return to the back leg and make that final adjustment of pushing the front thigh muscle backwards to the thighbone and straightening the inner knee. This harnesses the power of the quadriceps to work anti-gravitationally, to bring density, consistent energy and presence to the back leg, keeping it strong, straight and engaged. It is the anchor of the pose.

2 – TORSO:

Pump the middle buttocks forward. Move the tailbone towards the pubic bone. Feel the tailbone rubbing against the back of the pubic bone. Then inhale and lift the pubic bone up to the navel. Lift the navel up to the sternum. Lift the sternum up to the collarbones. Re-stretch the arms.”

Explanation: The action of pushing the middle buttocks forward and then the tailbone forward is absolutely crucial for adjusting the sacral band from which the entire rest of the pose extends. Dissecting anatomy refines our ability to access increasingly subtle areas of the body. So the first action of pushing the middle buttocks forward prepares for the enhanced experience of subsequently moving the tailbone forward. By engaging more profoundly with these tweaks we become able to connect with the base of the pubic bone, pushing it forward enough to make it perpendicular to the floor. This supports the essential action of lifting the pubic bone and the lower abdominal organs upwards. That inner organic lifting brings vibrant energy to the chest whilst simultaneously supporting the lumbar. As long as we stay attentive, repetitively directionalizing that part of the body as we do the rest of the pose, the lower back will remain superbly stable. The last verbal cue of re-stretching the arms helps take the action of inner ascension into new dimensions whilst maintaining full spinal integrity.

3 – ARMS:

Verbal Cue:

Stretch the arms and stretch the armpits. Feel the skin of the armpits tearing. Make the elbows firm. Keep stretching the arms up and back. Make sure that the upper arms are back behind the line of the ear. Now press the shoulder blades forward. Feel them pushing the sternum plate forward. Open the chest.“

Explanation: The arms are the final part of the pose. The highest point. Their role is to keep the ascending action vibrant and active. Working directly with the (often ignored) armpits and learning to get that skin stretching to it’s maximum transforms the upward thrust of the arms. This in turn helps lift the pubic bone and lower organs upwards bringing broadness to the chest and side ribs. The second subtle but necessary adjustment of moving the arms back behind the ears is crucial if we want to gain access to the upper back. Only by moving the lifted upper arms backwards (without jutting the chin forward) and then pressing the shoulder blades forward can we begin to retrain the upper back and open the frontal chest from the back body itself.

So there we go. Easy right? Well… sort of. Simplicity is harder to master than we think. But trust me when I tell you that this sacral adjustment will change everything. Without connecting to these adjustments in Virabhadrasana I, the lower back risks strain, the abdominal organs drop and the chest remains closed. Essentially this is in conflict with the entire beneficial intent of the posture itself. But once you know about these alignments. Once you incorporate some of these simple powerful verbal cues into your practice, everything will begin to change for the better. You remove all strain. The body’s innate intelligence burns more brightly An awakened fresh delicacy ripples through the system igniting amazing postural shifts. This is truly the ultimate sacral band adjustment that will transform the way that you practice and teach Virabhadrasana I forever.